Your heart is
not designed to be logical it’s designed to feel and to accept and to believe.
That’s why you generally are advised not to take your heart on a journey
without your brain. You’d only show your naivety.
While you trust
people you should have a reservation of yourself – it’s when you take your
entire self and dreams and future and wrap it around an individual that wounds
in your heart grow to a scar. Hardly can anyone get a life after a break-up who only could see life as
being with a person.
Ellen brought
her life to a halt and her dreams put in coma as she moves her commitment
to
Mark beyond limits. Got pregnant half a dozen times and put her life on the
line for abortions. She gave her up-keep allowance and had to work to make Mark
an accomplished man.
She only
followed her heart which was beclouded by the fogs of emotion and it only
believed mark was going to be there all the time. So it’s pretty much like a
sacrifice she made for herself. But as time passed, it was on the contrary as
Mark neared success.
One cool evening
as she chilled watching tv – she got the shocker text from Mark. A text that
had all the reasons why their relationship wouldn’t be consummated – Ranging
from family to God and all there is. Ellen threw herself back in her seat as
her lips began to shiver, she cried uncontrollably.
Fortunately, she
had a chance to talk to me and I had only but one answer to her predicament. I
said “If you want to cry – you can cry all you want here, at your girl friends,
around your family... just let the hurt out with you tears. But after all
you’ve got to move Onward and Upward –
don’t think of confronting him or begging him, just get on and recreate
yourself. The best revenge is success.
You’ve got to
show him what he’s lost the moment he ditched you. Come out in a new look –
chart a new course to pursue. When you guy’s paths cross, make him see the
sassy woman you’re and how better you’ve gotten without him – plus, make a
vague impression that you don’t need him anyway.
Ellen actually
had approximately two weeks to get over Mark and the Butterfly broke out of the
Larva. Mark couldn’t believe how amazing she got and he had to come begging for
a second chance.
Perhaps you
could have a different scenario from Ellen’s – it’s basically not certain he’d
be back like Mark, but the thing is – you’re happy and you’re having a life and
ready until another Love comes by and that’s what’s important. I’d just sign
off emphasizing this injunction “Never take your heart on a Love journey
without your brain”.
In How to get a Life After a DIVORCE I
gave a list of half a dozen things to do that would help overcome heartbreaks
and hurts alike, and the theme is just in sync with this, it’d basically do a
lot of good if you take a time out to find out. Here’s an excerpt of four
things you could need to do to overcome heartbreaks.
1.
You’d have to forgive yourself
I. If you’d made a mistake, quit
blaming yourself
II. Be happy with yourself
2.
Forgive your Spouse
I. Let go of hurts and hatred
towards them in your heart
II. Be free and relaxed with your
spouse
III. Don’t have a cynical outlook
3.
Accept that without an
Individual your life’s still complete
I. Find and Love your true self
II. Pursue your purpose and find
fulfilment
III. Be focused on your career
IV. Be complete and accomplished in
yourself as an individual
4.
Get Knowledge
Hardly would
heartbreak for a sassy woman become a scar – she knows how to navigate her way
out of it. That’s basically why you need to have a life as an individual and
then you can move on to share it with someone else. If they move away you’re
still complete, whole, and accomplished.
Selah.
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